Chain Reaction/Transcript
Written here is the full transcript of the episode "Chain Reaction" from the television series Kung Fu Panda: Legends of Awesomeness. This transcript has been separated into three segments, indicated accordingly to the episode's commercial breaks. Character dialogue lines were originally written by the episode's screenwriter, Kevin Seccia. Descriptions shown between italicized brackets were written by action=history}} contributors of this article. __TOC__ Act 1 2-D animation scene shows the silhouettes of [[Po] and Tigress walking through a fogged landscape.] PO(voiceover): The two legendary warriors strove bravely towards danger, cutting through the thick fog like it was, cut the fog with swords. soup, dangerous, evil soup. The two best friends had been through much the day, an epic march, a treacherous scouting mission, the nearby shop being out of friendship bracelets and one of the two, unimportant which one, glances at Tigress. refusing to wear them anyway. But they were about to face their most fearsome part yet, enter a giant door. Mr. Yang. They must pay Mr. Yang, hand Mr. Yang coins. the grumpy statue cleaner, and return with their prize, Shifu's favorite ruby encrusted statue of Oogway, which had grown dirty from the fearsome assault of time and dust, Po eating a bowl of rice. and dried rice bits dropped on it, accidentally, two warriors are on a parade float. and with great pop the processional proceeded to progress. Never before had such a magnificent caravan of awesomeness trekked through these hinterlands of what... of... the what's the word. 2-D TIGRESS: Po! 2-D PO: No that's not it. 2-D TIGRESS: Po you're doing it again. 2-D animation ends, Po and Tigress are carrying the statue walking through the forest and the rain. TIGRESS: Quit daydreaming out loud. PO: Well I wouldn't do it if you'd just talk to me a little. TIGRESS: Po, we're on a mission. PO: okay, okay then, just mission critical stuff, super important mission stuff. TIGRESS: Fine. PO: Like, what's your favorite color. continues talking about unimportant things, much to Tigress dismay, they continue traveling. PO: For me I guess maybe blue, yeah because .it's all steely and cold like me, oh but I like red, yeah because red's all fire. walk along a cliff-side. Hmm of course there's yellow, yellow's all friendly like sunshine and... and mustard and AHH this is hard; their all so great. continue traveling through the forest. Why can't there be one color that's so much more awesome then all the other colors its like no contest? Yeah yeah yeah it could like, like a color you've never heard like grank or lit or floogoo or something. continue traveling, the camera views the two warriors from afar and the hand of a crocodile is seen in the foreground. Po has a conversation with himself. Hey, hey what's your favorite color? Floogoo. Wow so is mine. Hey nice shade of floogoo. Thanks its my favorite color mine too. Might bring a little peace to the universe. scorns Po. No? Not a fan of the, floogoo? TIGRESS: I have a rule about idle chit-chat, I don't do it. PO: You have a rule about everything. If we're gonna be best friends, like the way I dreamed about since I was five, you're gonna have to loosen-up. TIGRESS: Look I say this with complete respect. I don't have a favorite color. I don't have a favorite mushroom. [[Croc Bandits|crocodiles] run by stealthily in the foreground.] PO: Shiitaki! TIGRESS: I don't know any dwarves and when we get back I'm taking a month long vow of solitude, alone! PO: Fine, I mean that's how I like my solitude, alone... With maybe Crane. continue traveling and Tigress calms down. TIGRESS: In another quarter-mile we can eat that lunch we packed. PO: his mouth full. Oh, was that for both of us. TIGRESS: PO! lose hold of the stand with the statue on it and it starts falling, they quickly start pushing the statue back up. TIGRESS: Hold it, push. crocodile bandits start sneaking up behind the two warriors. They push the statue back up and the crocodile bandits put a chain on their hands that links them together, They turn around to see who chained them. They see some croc bandits pointing weapons at them. PO: (gasp) Croc Bandits! walks between some bandits to confront the warriors. FUNG: Hey there pretty lady. PO: I am a boy. TIGRESS: He meant me. FUNG: Wow that was easy. two warriors get ready to fight. Fung give orders to the bandits. FUNG: Take the statue and get the ruby. bandits begin running towards the statue. Tigress jumps closer to the bandits to fight them off. TIGRESS:'You'll take nothing. ''pulls the chain, bringing Tigress back. '''PO: Yeah what she said. throws a hit which tightens the chain around his foot and trips him. The bandits laugh at his clumsiness. Po gets back up and pre to fight again. FUNG: Looks like we're gonna do this the hard way. begin fighting and have numerous problems with the chain preventing them from going too far apart. TIGRESS: Get off the chain. gets yanked around by Tigress moving the chain, the bandits jump on the statue. PO: Use... the... other... hand. jumps onto the statue to get the crocs off of it, this action pulls Tigress into the statue knocking down onto a croc, Po quickly jumps off to avoid being crushed. CROC BANDIT: I'm stuck. bandit comes to help the crushed croc, he lifts the statue and loses his grip, crushing both of them. CROC BANDIT: Get it off, come on. bandit attempts to lift the statue, he also gets crushed. PO: I don't wanna be a downer, but we can't fight them like this. TIGRESS: We took an oath to protect this statue. attempt to continue fighting, narrowly missing the bandits with their punches due to the length of the chain, they get yanked around by each others hits and are eventually cornered by the bandits, at a cliff, as some more of Fung's bandits take the statue away. FUNG: Capture them, SPEARS! bandits surround them with spears. PO: Uh, got a feeling we don't want to get captured here. TIGRESS: I'm not changing anything, I'm not losing the statue, we can take them. backup closer to the edge of the cliff. PO: Good idea, but first, lets not die. Don't be mad. TIGRESS: Why would I be... Oh no. both scream as Po jumps off of the cliff bringing Tigress with him. The bandits watch them fall. of Act 1 Act 2 two warriors fall off the cliff. TIGRESS: Bad idea, bad idea! PO: No kidding! TIGRESS: Try planning ahead next time! chain snags on a branch jutting out of the cliff side, they slam into each other repeatedly due to the way they snagged on the branch. TIGRESS: Stop doing that! PO: Me! stop bouncing off of one another and are left hanging face to face. PO: You know up close your face looks kind of angry. starts touching Tigress face. little lines right here and here. TIGRESS: Get off! kicks Po repeatedly, causing them to bounce again. PO: Is there a way of doing this that doesn't involve kicking me? TIGRESS: Yes. kicks Po twice more before getting a grip on the cliff-face. PO: Oh, I see, a new plan, I was about to sugge... branch snaps and they continue falling until Po lands on a small cliff hanging on the side of the cliff, however Tigress does not land on the cliff and hangs off the side only being supported by the chain. PO: Hold on! TIGRESS: Hold on? Now let me explain handcuffs to you. cliff begins breaking. TIGRESS: Of course. cliff breaks and they fall to the ground. PO: Hey, thought that would be a serious bone-cruncher, how 'bout you Tigress, looks around and can't find Tigress. Uh, Tigress. muffled voice comes out from under Po. Po screams when he realizes that he crushed Tigress and he quickly gets up. Tigress is in a dent that was created, from the impact of the fall, under Po. PO: Tigress, wake up! show me how to revive you. was already awake and she punches Po in the face. PO: Okay, not sure that works. gets up. TIGRESS: Po when your chained to someone and you jump off cliff, get them to agree to it first, that's the protocol. PO: There's a protocol for that? Who knew? Next your gonna tell me there's a protocol for a three foot tall rooster holding a battle axe and a banana. says this jokingly. TIGRESS: Approach from the battle axe side, banana's a decoy. attempts to take off the chain. PO: (laughs) That's a good... one, realizes that Tigress was serious. Uh, right, got it, I'll right that down in my... log. TIGRESS: I can't believe we lost the statue, and the ruby. kicks bamboo tree, breaking it. PO: Oh did we? pulls out an action figure of Tigress, which confuses her, Po realizes that he pulled out the wrong item and quickly puts it away. I mean uh, did we? pulls out the ruby. TIGRESS: You got it? PO: I grabbed when the statue fell, without a plan. Imagine that. I guess they were to busy punching me in the face to notice. Losers. TIGRESS: But when they do notice they'll be after us. Lets head that way. points in the direction that she wants to go and walks their dragging Po along. Meanwhile the crocodile bandits are examining the statue, Fung circles the statue and can't find the ruby. FUNG: Where's the ruby? bandits look at him with terrified expressions. FUNG: No seriously, wait no where's the ru where's ru...! calms down. Okay, okay, alright, funny joke guys, now give me the ruby. CROC BANDIT:. Uh, we don't have it, I think I saw the panda take it. FUNG: talks sarcastically That's great, no that's great, that you watch that happen, that's really... You know what, you've got keen eye, croc bandits eyes are fixed on Fung and looks off in another direction. did anyone ever tell you that. Next time though. CROC BANDIT: Yeah. FUNG: Next time maybe you could stop him! throws his helmet on the ground. Now get that ruby back! bandits run off to find the warriors. Po and Tigress are running through the forest searching for the bandits. PO: Stupid chains. Slow down. stop running. This is kind of awesome isn't it, Po and Tigress, together on an adventure, just way I'd always hoped it would be. TIGRESS: Yeah if you count getting hand cuffed, yanked off a cliff, and failing at the mission as awesome then yes it's been gets up in Po's face. awesome. What's next? continue forward. PO: We're gonna get the statue back. answer surprises Tigress. TIGRESS: Oh, well we can't do anything until we get these chains off. attempts to break the cuffs. PO: I got an idea. runs over pulling Tigress behind him. They encircle the chain around a bamboo tree and get ready to break it by pulling it. PO: Alright, pull on three, ready? TIGRESS: Ready. PO: THREE! doesn't give Tigress time to react and he makes her hit her head on the tree every time he pulls. TIGRESS: I... don't... think... it's... working. falls to the ground and the tree snaps. TIGRESS: You don't just yell "three" when you say "on three", you actually have to count to three! PO: Never heard that before. axes hit the broken tree next to them. They turn around and see the bandits coming after them. PO: Run! both try to run in different directions and are yanked back by one another No, no this way. TIGRESS: Why would we run that way, axe lands next to them. You always break towards cover. PO: Of course, begin running off. Proper fleeing etiquette, I must've missed that day. run off and hide behind a boulder. PO: Do you see them? TIGRESS: It's hard to tell. PO: They're crocodiles; it's like an alligator with a different snout. TIGRESS: I know what they are! PO: If you see any large reptiles the code word is, pudding. code word annoys Tigress. They continue hiding behind the rock. TIGRESS: I think we lost them. PO: We should name our adventure. Yeah you know how Shifu tells the story of Oogway and the fiery demons of Wu Zhong mountain? We should have a name. TIGRESS: Yeah, how about the fiery demons of STOP TALKING! PO: Oh, oh, oh, we could have a song to like starts mimicking music with his mouth and starts singing. The furious two, they're going on a rampage. peeks out behind the boulder and sees the bandits. TIGRESS: Dumplings! PO: Where? axe lands in front of them. Ah! you mean "pudding." both try to run in different opposite directions and they slam into each other. Ow! What are you doing? You said you always break towards cover. axes land in front of them. TIGRESS: Unless you break towards higher ground. start running towards the top of hill where large fortress can be seen. PO: When did running away get so complicated? get to the top of the hill and enter the fortress into a large courtyard. Tigress quickly boards up the door and Po's end of the chain gets stuck under the board, Tigress quickly pulls the board up again and Po moves the chain. Po peeks out of fortress through a space between the doors PO: We lost them. turns around and sees a large bell hanging in the middle of the courtyard and starts walking toward it. Hey that's a nice bell. See this is the great thing about traveling, you see things you'd never see at home. TIGRESS: Believe it or not Po I've seen a bell before. continues looking through the space between the doors. PO: I'm getting the impression you're not having as good a time as I am. TIGRESS: Getting out of these cuffs will be my good time, looks at the bell. and that bell could cut the chain. PO: Great, time to loses the jewelry, you see what I did there, I called cuffs jewelry. TIGRESS: Yeah, I got it. walk towards the bell, Po stands under the bell. PO: Uh, okay uh, you're the planner so all of the planning is covered with your plan right? TIGRESS: Right. hits one of the beams supporting the structure that the bell is hanging from and the bell begins to vibrate. PO: Momma! bell falls ringing loudly around Po, the bell cracks and doesn't cut the chain much to Tigress' dismay. Tigress yanks the chain flings the bell of and uncovers Po who is rattled from the loud sound. Po yells when he talks. PO: DID IT WORK. TIGRESS: Shh! Keep your voice down. PO: WHAT? I CAN'T HERE ANYTHING. WHAT WORDS AM I SAYING? the croc bandits are standing still in the middle of forest. FUNG: I think they got away. throws his helmet on the ground. Darn it guys we talked about this, remember we gave ourselves one year to become real bandits and we're eleven months in. If I have to go back to carving terra cotta warriors for my dad... PO: I AM WHISPERING. hears Po yelling in the distance. FUNG: That's the panda. puts his helmet back on. We're back in business. Eat it dad! bandits run towards the source of the voice. Tigress attempts to keep Po quiet. PO: WHAT? TIGRESS: Keep your voice down. glances to the sky. PO: IT IS CLOUDY, BUT WE NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE, CAN YOU FOCUS PLEASE! gives up on trying to keep Po quiet and decides they should leave. Tigress lifts the board and hears Fung coming. FUNG: Come on, they're in here quickly puts the board back just as a croc attempts to break the door down by slamming into it. Fung repeatedly orders the bandits to slam into the door. FUNG:'Hit it again, ''croc charges the door and is knocked down by speed of the impact. hit it, croc is knocked out. hit it again, croc is knocked out. hit it again! croc gets knocked out. the door Po and Tigress keep the door shut as the bandits keep slamming into it. '''FUNG: Hit it, hit it... Hit it, hit it hit it hit it! looks at the thin walls around the court yard. PO: WHAT'S WRONG? TIGRESS: Brace yourself. PO: REALLY? smells his breath. YOU THINK SO? TIGRESS: Brace yourself! grabs the chain, swings it around, and flings Po into the wall, the wall breaks and they are both flung out of the courtyard through the hole in the wall. Fung and the croc bandits finally break the door down and enter the courtyard. FUNG: Darn it guys. and Tigress rest under tree facing in opposite directions. TIGRESS: I can't think, I haven't eaten all day. PO: Really? We ate lunch. scorns Po. I... ate lunch, scorns Po even harsher. I ate... your lunch... right. turns away. Po sees an apple hanging in the tree. Oh ho ho looky here. begins climbing the tree. I just gotta climb up that guy. climbs closer until the apple is just out of reach. Just gotta... big belly in the way. gets even closer to the apple. Don't mind if I do, nearly grabs the apple. He decides to use his feet to grab it. It's time for the crazy feet. nearly grabs the apple but he falls off of the branch this action causes Tigress to be flung through the branches. TIGRESS: Panda! slams into many branches, breaking some, and then she crashes to the ground. Tigress starts yelling at Po. I can't believe you did that, all I wanted was notices that during all of the commotion she got an apple and stops yelling. something... to... eat. PO: Your welcome. TIGRESS: Thanks Po. that night Po and Tigress are sitting under the tree with a campfire. Po is feeling around the inside of a tree for honey and Tigress is carving a piece of wood. PO: Whoa, there's a lot of honey in this tree. TIGRESS: Bees produce more than they eat. PO: No? Huh, You know a lot of stuff. TIGRESS: I studied, for a long time. PO: eats some honey. What about friends? TIGRESS: My friends are the twins; discipline and sacrifice. PO: Yeah, I think they'd like me. TIGRESS: That's okay, you'll never meet them. PO: Ah Ha Ha, you, you made a funny. TIGRESS: That was funny wasn't it? It has meaning on two levels; one you can't meet them because they're an abstract idea and two you won't meet them because you're lazy. PO: Yeah okay, now you're just wrecking it. TIGRESS: Right. PO: Uh, can ask you something? You wanted to be the Dragon Warrior didn't you? hesitates on answering for a second. TIGRESS: Everyone wanted to be the Dragon Warrior, but, things don't always turn out the way you think. PO: (sighs) You think Oogway made the wrong choice. turns away from Po. Po changes the subject. PO: Okay, yeah, fire's getting a little low. grabs two pieces of wood nearby, one of which looks like a key. Po drops the wood into the fire. TIGRESS: Po, I was carving a key to get the shackles open I worked hours on that thing. PO: I thought it was firewood. TIGRESS: You didn't think at all you never do, Dragon Warrior. PO: I'm just trying to... TIGRESS: Do what? Trying to do what? Lose the statue? Fumble through everything? Is that the Dragon Warrior way? Maybe Oogway did make the wrong choice. comment upsets Po. PO: Tigress, you may be a great warrior, but you stink at friendship... and fun-ship. I'm outta here. watches Po as he walks off. Po walks off and stops to eat honey and realizes that he is no longer chained to Tigress. PO: The handcuffs. The honey must've slipped the cuff off. Tigress we're free! Is there nothing honey can't do? eats more honey. stares into the fire and the chain starts moving. TIGRESS: Po... chain moves again which slightly annoys Tigress. Po. is yanked away and some crocs can be heard growling. Po runs to where Tigress was. PO: Tigress we did it! Tigress? panics. TIGRESS! of Act 2 Act 3 is captured by Fung and the croc bandits and they are in a clearing, Tigress is tied being tied to a pole with a rope. FUNG: Look, I've got a job do; you've got a job to, so why don't you just tell me where the ruby is. TIGRESS: Or what, you're gonna play good-croc bad-croc? [ Gahri throws his spears on the ground and yells at Tigress.] GAHRI: You're going down, I'm not playing these games with you anymore! kills the serious mood. FUNG: Forget it Gary she knows. GAHRI: Oh, okay, well, picks up the spears that he dropped. I guess I'll cleanup these weapons now. walks off and then comes back. And it's Gahri. pushes Gahri down knocking him something. FUNG: If you don't want to tell us fine, then we'll do this the hard way. TIGRESS: You already said that, that's twice now. FUNG: Hey! stutters when thinking of what to say. It's a good line so... talks quietly. shut up. CROC BANDIT: It is a good line. FUNG: Now where was I? TIGRESS: I think you were gonna yammer on and I was to do this. kicks Fung causing him to yell out in pain. FUNG: owww, darn it! Everybody Backup, just backup 'cause she's got a vicious kick. runs around in pain while grabbing himself. ow, who didn't ties her up below the knees? Come on guys this is basic stuff. kicks Fung again and his helmet falls to the ground. He puts his helmet back on. Okay, that's it, I'm done going easy on you. TIGRESS: Let me guess, your gonna do it the hard way. is angered by Tigress' comment. FUNG: (laughs) Bring it boys! (laughs) ground starts trembling as a large cart-like vehicle rolls through the trees. FUNG: Get prepared to be torn to pieces. expression changes to a worried one. The machine crushes trees in its path. Even the croc bandits faces show fearful expressions. The machine stops. FUNG: Huh? It's facing the wrong way! croc bandits that wheeled out the large vehicle try turning it around. FUNG: Wha, wa, no, roll it back out and turn it arou... yells at Tigress. Get prepared to be torn to pieces! walks over to assist the bandits in turning the machine around. Just hold on a second. walks through some bamboo trees and sees croc bandits in the clearing in the middle of the forest. PO: They're everywhere. I need a plan. picks up a small rock and throws it at a croc bandit, the bandit only scratches himself like nothing happened. Po picks up a larger stone and throws it at the same bandit, the stone hits the bandit on the top of the head and rests there only making one of the bandit's eyes move, this confuses Po. Po picks up a very large rock and throws it at a tree, it bounces off of the tree and hits Po. PO: OWWW! FUNG: There's an intruder in the woods. Find him! bandits scramble off to find the intruder. Fung walks up to Tigress. FUNG: Looks like we're doing this the hard way! kicks him in the face knocking him to the ground. Owww, Darn it! comes to aid Tigress. TIGRESS: Po! Po listen I... PO: You okay? Come on lets get you, and the statue, out of here. TIGRESS: I'm surprised you came back for me, thanks. PO: Well it's protocol, you know for friends. smiles. Po prepares to kick down the wooden pole, a short croc bandit still stands there trying to tie up Tigress. On three. THREE! kicks down the wooden pole freeing Tigress, the two warriors run over to the statue and they begin carrying it. The croc bandits come out of the forest. TIGRESS: We're surrounded. bandits start closing in on the group. PO:'You take half, I'll take half. ''bandits attack, some bandits jump on Po and Tigress jumps into the air, another bandit bites one end of the chain which pulls Tigress back down. Both warriors run over to the statue with piles of crocs on them. '''TIGRESS: I'll get the statue. PO: I got it. starts sliding the statue towards himself. TIGRESS: Po. knows that Tigress is stronger than he is and realizes that there's no point in arguing over the statue. PO: Oh right, sorry. slides the statue back towards Tigress, the statue falls on Tigress and she rolls away with it. Some bandits pile on Po preventing him from getting up. Tigress keeps rolling with the statue until she bumps into some rocks which causes the statue to be flung into the air. The bandits get to the statue, one bandit sits on the statue and the rest of the bandits get flung back when Tigress yanks the chain but the croc bandits prevent Tigress from moving since they weigh down the chain. Po struggles with the croc bandits that piled on him, Tigress knocks the croc bandit off of the statue and then fights off more bandits. Tigress grabs the statue but gets surrounded and cuffed to a tree, she climbs the tree by moving the other end of the chain up the tree. Po fights off some croc bandits, but one gets the ruby in mouth. PO: Welcome to the fistival, punches a croc in face and gets the ruby back. allow me to punch your tickets. attempts punch another croc but the croc bites his hand. Yow! No! crocs pile on Po again. Croc bandits grab hold of the statue while Tigress is holding it in the tree, the bandits start pulling Tigress down. TIGRESS: Can't... Hold on. rolls toward the tree with bandits piled on him. PO: Tigress! falls out of the tree. All of the bandits surround the two warriors. PO: Know what we need? A plan. We need to do this together. cuffs Po with the other end of the chain. PO: Why'd you do that? TIGRESS: Because you're right. BOTH: Together! both throw a punch which knocks the crowd of bandits off of them. The two warriors smile at each other and begin fighting off the bandits. Three bandits throw spears at them, they catch the spears in the chain and run at the three bandits while the spears are in the chain and take down all three bandits. Tigress picks up Po. PO: On three. BOTH: Three! throws Po into a crowd of crocs and knocking them all down. Both warriors take turns at throwing one another into the bandits. Po throws Tigress into the air, they land on a tree branch. Tigress kicks while being suspended in the air by the chain, Po spins while kicking in midair. PO: How 'bout a little flying panda style. swing in opposite directions and roundup all of the remaining bandits and knock them all out. Fung claps from atop his large wooden vehicle. FUNG: Nice job. No impressive, but I've got the statue and you've got the gasps as he pulls out the ruby. ruby. No, I don't think so, I have it right here, puts the ruby in the statue. look at that. laughs, gives his wooden vehicle a rolling start, and rides it away through the forest. Po and Tigress chase after Fung. The warriors quickly catchup to Fung and jump on the moving vehicle and start beating him. Fung's helmet gets flung off of his head and gets stuck in a tree. Fung nearly pushes the warriors off the vehicle but they fling him into the air with the statue. Fung lands on the large spinning wheel on the vehicle still holding the statue. The two warriors beat up Fung while on the wheel. Fung's face repeatedly bumps against the bumpy surface of the spinning wheel. Fung punches Po sending the two warriors off and under the vehicle. The chain snags on the underside of the vehicle and the two warrior are dragged behind it as it moves. The warriors jump back onto the moving vehicle and proceed to beat Fung. They spin Fung around and jump to trees on opposite sides of the road and then use the chain to throw Fung off of the vehicle. The vehicle crashes into some trees. The warriors jump towards Fung and tie him to a tree with the chain. FUNG: Darn it! and Tigress take turns hitting Fung against the tree as he yells out in pain. The warriors take the statue and wrap Fung in the chain and fling him far away, Fung screams as he flies through the sky. TIGRESS: Nice work. PO: You too. TIGRESS: Know what? PO: What? TIGRESS: Oogway did make the right choice, bows to Po. Dragon Warrior. PO: Really, really, oh wow, I love that you just said that! two warriors walk homeward with the statue and Po starts singing. PO: The FURIOUS TWO, Dragon Warrior and his SIDEKICK, AFTER THE RAMPAGE... TIGRESS: Po... Did you say sidekick? PO: What? No haha, was like... I mean heheheh... changes the subject. So, what is your favorite color? TIGRESS: (sighs) of Act 3 of Transcript Category:Transcripts Category:Episode transcripts Category:Legends of Awesomeness transcripts Category:LOA Season 1 transcripts